Five Guns I’ll Never Own

GlockLists seem to be the way to drive traffic to a blog. Top 10 this and top 10 that; I guess folks like lists because when they see their thing on the list it makes them feel good and when they see there thing not on the list it gives them something to whine about. And, as you all know, feeling good and whining are the top two things humans like to do.

So, in order to drive thousands of readers to my blog, I’ve made a list. Increasing traffic is the only reason I’ve made this list because who could possible care which guns I’ll never own?

5. A shotgun. Yeah, really, a shotgun. I don’t like shotguns and I don’t do anything that requires a shotgun. There are two shotguns in my house. My son has a Remington 11-87 20 gauge and I have my dad’s old Winchester model 12. (Keeping my dad’s shotgun is not the same as owning a shotgun.) I tend to agree with the great Hawkeye, aka Natty Bumppo when it comes to shotguns. He said, “but if there is a law at all, it should be to keep people from the use of smooth-bores. A body never knows where his lead will fly, when he pulls the trigger of one of them uncertain fire-arms.”

4. The DoubleTap thingamabob. This is a two-shot derringer type handgun chambered for .45 ACP. It weighs 12 ounces and is almost six inches long and four inches tall. Remington’s new R 51 is about the same size and holds eight 9mm +P cartridges. It costs less too. Nope, I may execute a double tap but it won’t be with a DoubleTap! Dick Metcalf said he was going to buy one. Course he said some other – not so smart – things too.DT

3. When I was in the military I took an OPFOR weapons course. During that course we shot AKs. You can argue all you want about the superiority of the 7.62 x 39 cartridge and you can preach all day long about the reliability of an AK. But you know what, its a communist weapon and that’s all the reason I need not to own one. Sorry Mikhail, I’ll stick with an M4 or even a .30 Carbine! What’s more American than an M1 Carbine?AK

2. A Glock. Look, I carried a Glock for 13 years as a cop. And, I worked on a range for almost that long as a firearms instructor while other cops were shooting Glocks. I’m a Glock armorer and I’ve fired thousands of rounds through Glocks. I don’t like them. No, I’m not racist; I’ve just been there and done that and I don’t want to do it anymore. And, well, Glocks are ugly.

1. A Rhino revolver. I like revolvers, own revolvers, carry revolvers and shoot revolvers. The Rhino is an interesting revolver but it is uglier than a Glock and just like they say on Shark Tank, “For that reason I’m out.”

If you don’t like my list, try THIS ONE over at Misfires and Light Strikes

If you thought my list is bonkers, check out  THIS ONE over at Fill Yer Hands

THIS LIST over at Bayou Renaissance Man is probably more practical than mine. Its worth checking out just to see the video on the 4 bore.


Richard is a contributing editor for several magazines and was the editor of the 13th Edition of Cartridges of the World. His newest book, Handgun Training for Personal Protection, offers a comprehensive look at the practical application of a defensive handgun. A hillbilly at heart, Richard lives on Shadowland – his shooting range in West Virginia – with the most understanding wife in the world, their three kids and a very protective Rhodesian ridgeback.
  1. Bob Todrick

    Just a comment on the shotgun.
    I too have one for…well, just because.
    I have a couple of acquaintances who are avid shotgunners. What I’ve noticed is that they are as different from most of my shooting friends as is a fly fisherman.
    It’s just about like it’s a completely different sport.

    • gunwriter

      There are rifle guys and then there are shotguns guys.

  2. Buck Ofama

    A wonderful Blog ( if thats what this is). Dangerous though, G.Glock got one gunwriter fired from the peterson mags for saying his guns were less than beautiful Metcalf mistook himself for a social phillosopher but otherwise, is not a bad guy. The double tap DOES appear to be Crap. Shot guns were good fifty years ago when there were a shootable number of doves and the quail were in vitro rather than pin-raised and they are still good for blowing miscreants into the middle of next week.
    If you want to add something Truly Ugly to your list. check out something (anything ) by Gary! N! Reeder!.

    • gunwriter

      Gary does have unique tastes. But, I’ve tested several of his guns. They work and shoot like crazy!

  3. Doc B (J B Boren)

    Other than the shotgun, you and I think a lot alike. Scary.

    I did own an AK once, for about two weeks. It patterned about like one of those scatterguns you mentioned, so I sold it to some guy in Florida.

    I’ve never owned a Glump, er, Glock.

    I find Rhinos as ugly as you do.

    I see no use for the derringer any more.

    I’d add to the list any SA handgun that looks like it was modeled after the C5A Galaxy.

  4. John

    I agree on everything but the shotty. But then, I almost exclusively shoot handmade flintlocks, so when anyone posts the 5-10-100 guns they dislike there is a strong possibility I won’t disagree!

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  8. juegosdebarbie

    Great post.

  9. Rogertc1

    I do not agree with Richard. I have more guns than Richard has or ever will. Hw is Not an expert just an opinion.

    • gunwriter

      Why would anyone want to agree with me?

  10. Ron Jackson

    While I agree with most of those opinions I must say that unless you’re VERY, VERY good, you will need a shotgun to hunt birds AND, I recently succumbed to ‘forty fever’ and what are you going to buy in a forty? That’s right, a(n ugly) Glock. AND, you must give the recently deceased Mr. Kalashnikov his due. The AK is a fine battle rifle. Unfortunately we’ve had to go up against it in every recent war and now of course every terrorist on the planet has one. I’m not sure which rifle I’d want to carry into battle. Probably an M1 Garand rather than the M16 or the AK. Now having covered ugly firearms that no one (?) wants, how about the best looking firearms ever? My money’s on the Browning Medalist, the Colt Python, the Browning Model 78 (in .20/06) w/oct. bbl., the Winchester Model 1903 .22 Win. auto (the Model 63 is also nice but it doesn’t have the crescent butt stock), the Remington Model 16 .22 Rem. auto, and finally the Winchester Model 21 Grand American in 20 ga., with dual triggers and mod. and imp. cyl. chokes. I’ve had the pleasure of owning each of those firearms except for the Model 21. Granted, there are a lot of GOOD looking guns out there, like the Model 70 Winchester and the Colt Woodsman, but I’m talking about really attractive firearms. Works of art. Any others?

  11. Jeff

    Try running your pistol combat course with a shotgun and let me know if you still don’t have a use for it. Pretty much the only reason we use pistols at all is because we don’t have a shotgun in hand at the time, not because they are somehow inferior.

    Shotguns are also quite useful (and legal) and much safer for shooting flying birds.

    • gunwriter

      Everyone is acting like I don’t know anything about shotguns. Grew up with one, carried one in my patrol car for 13 years and have shot them extensively. I just DONT LIKE them and I don’t shoot birds.

  12. Pingback: Five Guns I’ll Probably Never Own | Fill Yer Hands

  13. Peter

    I’ve put up my five on my blog:

    Good meme. Thanks for starting it.


    You need to take part in a contest for one of the
    highest quality blogs on the net. I will highly recommend this web site!

    • gunwriter

      Much appreciated. I’d probably win a days supply of Red Bull and Cheetos and I don’t like either one.